Loving Yourself

Most everyone has problems loving themselves some days. Learning to love ourselves can make life much easier and better. Problems arise and life happens, but if we love ourselves, the more difficult moments are easier to deal with. Loving yourself affects your emotional wellbeing, your mental health, your physical health, general everyday functioning, as well as moving toward accomplishing your goals.

One major key to loving yourself is accepting yourself just as you are and loving all of the pieces of you, even the ones you might think you don’t love. If you can accept them, you can then also think of changing them down the road if you wish. To love your whole self, even the parts you think are undesirable, you can love yourself for thinking you need to change. Love the difficult feelings. Love the imperfections and love that you believe they are imperfections at all.

Part of that is also loving your feelings and being able to name them, explore them, get to know them, enjoy them. Sometimes it is hard to have our feelings and hard to love ourselves with those feelings. We have to first be open to loving our feelings and ourselves.

Many of us, if not all of us, have a struggle loving ourselves, in fact, we are perhaps write battling against loving ourselves fully.

Write 1:

I invite you to write what might keep you from loving yourself fully. On a regular day, what keeps you from loving yourself? What about on a bad day? A good day?

Write 2:

Next, imagine a person, place, or thing that your love. Picture that person, place, or thing in your mind and notice how you feel that love your body. Now write down the person, place or thing, write that you love them.

Next, try to shift that love you feel for that person, place, or thing to yourself. If you make excuses as to why it can’t shift over or you lose focus, go back to that person, place, or thing (you can read what you wrote) and concentrate on your love for it again, until you can feel it in your body. Then bring yourself in again. Work to feel that love for yourself.

Write 3:

Then, write down that you love yourself. If you feel you are adding “but” or I love myself when… write that you love yourself unconditionally. In fact, just write that anyways and then sit with it. How does it feel to write that? Is there a part of you that doesn’t want to allow that unconditional love for yourself? If so, stop and write about that, then go back to the person, place or thing and work to love it, feel the love, and again, feel the love for yourself as well.

Write the love for you!

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Take care,


Published by lizawolfffrancis

Liza Wolff-Francis is a poet and writer with an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Goddard College who is proud to have served two terms as a member of the Albuquerque Poet Laureate Program’s Selection Committee. She was co-director for the 2014 Austin International Poetry Festival and a member of the 2008 Albuquerque Poetry Slam Team. She has an ekphrastic poem posted in Austin’s Blanton Art Museum by El Anatsui’s sculpture “Seepage” and her work has most recently appeared in Steam Ticket, eMerge, Minute Magazine, Weaving the Terrain: 100 Word Southwestern Poems, Bearing the Mask: Southwestern Persona Poems, Poetic Routes, Poetry Pacific, Edge, and on various blogs. She has a chapbook out called Language of Crossing (2015, Swimming with Elephant Publications), which is a collection of poems about the Mexico- U.S. border. She loves breakfast food, popcorn and dark chocolate.

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